Lady GaGa: Behind the Bulge

Queen of controversy Lady GaGa is one of today’s most prominent music names, with her contemporary pop tracks topping charts across the globe.

She has made a name for herself by exhibiting her own risqué fashion articles whilst performing her sexually ambiguous but suggestive music, bringing phrases such as “bluffin’ with my muffin” and “disco stick” into pop culture. Amongst these various new additions to the global pop-vocab however, was a phrase that was somewhat less welcomed by her PR team, this of course referring to the rise of the “GaGa bulge”.

Widespread rumour followed footage of GaGa dismounting a motorcycle during her performance at the Glastonbury festival without any underwear, showing what appeared to be male genetalia. This wildfire of suspicion was exacerbated after quotes allegedly by Lady GaGa herself were published on various online blogs, originating from an anonymous (and since proven false) source. In it, she seemed to admit that she was indeed a hermaphrodite, but “saw herself as a woman” as she only had “a little bit of a penis”.

Though GaGa herself states that “there’s no point” in wearing underwear and that “it’s rare” she ever does, because of her penchant for tight-fitting and unashamedly revealing outfits. Despite this, a statement was released by her manager dismissing these allegations once and for all as “ridiculous” and claiming that the fleshy-coloured bulge seen in the infamous up-skirt camera shot merely showed an unfortunately angled flesh-coloured undergarment.

When questioned about this on the BBC’s Johnathan Ross Show, the 23 year old performer calmy replied with “yeah, I’ve got a great big donkey dick”, before later dispelling the accusations and instead drawing attention to the lesbian desires she alludes to in her various songs, despite her having had numerous male partners. In a similar statement, printed in Rolling Stone Magazine Lady GaGa claimed she was bisexual but that her attraction to woman was “purely physical”.

Even following this however, many believe that Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, the girl who learned to play piano music by ear at the age of four and grew up to create a stage name based on Queen hit “Radio Gaga“, is a closet hermaphrodite. At this point in time though, it seems that the openly bisexual, multi million dollar fashion, sex and music icon is only too happy to to have her crotch on everyone’s lips.

Sources:
- “The Johnathan Ross Show”: youtube.com/watch?v=ZxHTtNWdAns
- http://www.bbc.co.uk/music/artists/650e7db6-b795-4eb5-a702-5ea2fc46c848
- http://slackerchic.blogspot.com/2009/08/penis-or-no-penis-lady-gaga-edition.html
- ABC News Online: http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/story?id=8278249&page=1

Cabinet Item: (Print Article) “Fanatic Has Bro In Army”

This article (see below) is an interesting example of how print journalism is structured to capture the attention of specific audiences by manipulating facts into a story that is more relevant than the actual happenings on their own.

The story is an overview of how one anti-war protestor was arrested and freed without charge after a demonstration in Luton. The main focus of this article is the protestor (Ibrahim Anderson)’s relation to a member of the British Royal Artillery through marriage.

This relationship is emphasised through use of hyperbole throughout, particularly in the headline, where the brother-in-law is referred to as “bro”, not only ignoring the lack of blood relation, but also adding a sense of familiarity through the informal language.

Little emphasis is laid on the fact that he was cleared of all charges, which is briefly mentioned in the final paragraph, immediately after a quote claiming that he had shouted “British soldiers burn in hell”, as if to alleviate the major focus.

More emphasis is laid on Ibrahim Anderson’s name than any of the other people mentioned, assumedly because of the fact that is simply sounds more stereotypically muslim, therefore villainising him in the eyes of today’s (stereotyped) target audience of passive readers, who engage minimally with the information they recieve and accept stereotypes such as the “all muslims are terrorists” portrayal at face value.

By Ryan Brailsford

Sources:
(Original Article:)
A MUSLIM convert held during a demo at which homecoming British troops were called “baby killers” has a brother-in-law in the ARMY.

Ibrahim Anderson’s sister Heather, 35, is married to Staff Sergeant Mick Camp, who has served for several years in the Royal Artillery and completed at least one Afghan tour.

Anderson, 32, was one of seven men arrested over the demo in Luton. Five were found guilty of a public order offence and freed.

But Anderson who had shouted “British soldiers burn in hell,” was acquitted after saying he did not mean to cause distress.

- Article taken from News Of The World January 15th, 2010 edition (written by an anonymous journalist)

Akeal: Revealed (Exclusive Interview)

For the last two years, indie rock band Akeal have been creating a stir in Warwickshire’s music scene with their rapidly-growing fanbase.

Known widely for their UK tour with Coventry band The Enemy and their various performances at events such as the 2008 Godiva Festival, lead singer and guitarist, Gaz Openshaw talks about his experiences during his rise to fame.

Inspired by bands such as Interpol, Elbow and The Doves, Gaz told of how his love of music started “when I was about 17, I’d always listened to music, you know, doing a bit of air guitar when no one’s around, but I’d never really learnt to play any instruments, but I figured it’s not too late to learn” and went on to meet fellow bandmembers Matt Graham (drums), Sean Davenport (bass) and Chris Hamblett (guitar) at a music group in Leamington Spa, where they soon became close mates and “it became apparent we’d be in a band”.

Gaz’s ideal situation would be that the band would become so sought after that they’d “be able to pick and choose where (they) wanted to play out of pretty much anywhere”.

When writing songs for the band, Gaz admits “I’ll be honest, when I first sit down to write a song, I’m not focusing on the message I’m putting across as much as I’m focusing on trying to make it sound good, but as soon as I’m happy with the music I’ll sit down and fit some meaningful lyrics to it: it’s not one-sided.”

“Do you see being in the band as mainly business… or pleasure?” I ask as he stops for a few seconds before answering with “I love being in the band, it definitely started as a hobby, but right now I’ve gotta say it’s about 60/40 in favour of business.”

Gaz then went on to tell me of his excitment about the possibility of touring with General Fiasco at some point next year, although it’s not been finalised as of yet. The bands’ next big performance is to be the Snowbombing festival in Mayrhofen, Austria next year between the 5th and 10th of April, where Akeal will be playing alongside established artists such as The Enemy, The Doves, Fatboy Slim and The Editors.

By Ryan Brailsford

Sources
- http://www.myspace.com/akeal
- akeal.wordpress.com

Killed By Christmas

Cold-related illnesses are expected to take the lives of at least eight pensioners every hour this winter.

With the recession weighing down on our purse-strings this year, record numbers of elderly have been too afraid to warm their homes, simply enduring the cold rather than taking on a hefty gas bill. “They’ll rob you blind if you let them” says 72 year old, Helen Smith.

“Winter deaths” as they are referred to have reached their highest point in almost a decade, with 36,700 more deaths in England and Wales, compared with the average toll for the non-winter period.

Gordon Lishman, Age Concern’s Director General claims that “2.4 million older people in Britain live in homes that are cold enough to cause illness”, but it need not be this way. Few know of the government schemes put in place to help in situations such as the winter fuel allowance, given out to over 60’s to help warm their homes during the winter months. For more information called 0845 915 1515 to see if you are legible to claim fuel allowance.

Friends and relatives of people over 60 are also encouraged to advise them not to simply endure the cold this winter. It’s always worth enquiring at your local job centre to see what support is available to you should you need it.

By Ryan Brailsford

Sources:
- ONS Winter mortality statistics for England and Wales: http://www.statistics.gov.uk/cci/nugget.asp?id=574
- DirectGov: http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/MoneyTaxAndBenefits/BenefitsTaxCreditsAndOtherSupport/Inretirement/DG_10018657
- Age Concern

X Factor Finalist Comes To Coventry

X Factor 2009 finalist, Lucie Jones showed her fans she’s not going anywhere last night after performing at Coventrys’ Chicago Rock Café

After being defeated in a singing showdown by the notorious John and Edward, it looked like the show was over for the welsh student, but she’s currently touring the UK doing one-off performances. When asked how she felt about leaving the X Factor, she claimed she was “gutted” and that she thought there was “no way” she could have squared up to John and Edward in the eyes of the public.

Unfortunately this sentiment was somewhat justified by the crowd last night, whose comments seemed to focus more on her appearance than her performance. Some described her performance as “dissappointingly short” and “not as good as she is on TV”, though many compromise that this may be due to the venue’s strict budget and poor sound equipment.

In the eyes of her die-hard fans, who got to meet her shortly afterwards however, her rendition of Katy Perry’s “Hot n’ Cold” was described as “amazing” along with her covers of, “All I Want For Christmas” by Mariah Carey, “This Is Me” from the Disney movie Camp Rock and the rumoured winners’ single for 2009 “The Climb” by Miley Cyrus, which all received scattered praise.

X Factor fans are now looking forward to the appearance of Jamie “Afro” Archer the following week.

Fake Press Release Excercise

The Oval, Coventry Road, Bedworth, Warwickshire, CV12 8NN 30/11/2009

Press Release

Ron’s Gutted About Knuckles Showing Arsenal

Bedworth United’s reputation took a battering this week after exaggerated headlines swept the tabloids.

Manager Ron Gutted promises he is going to “crack” down on the behaviour of star striker Joey Knuckles after he was seen mooning from the team coach as it left Arsenal’s Emirates Stadium in front of various tabloid reporters last weekend after claiming their 12th consecutive victory against Arsenal. A frenzy of rumour and false scandal followed this rather tedious incident.

The unfortunate striker took further criticism after being sent off for the fifth time in the last 12 months, with vital facts being ignored such as the provokation and harrassment he recieved prior to the tackle that ended his game by Arsenal striker Andrey Arshavin.
Press Officer Ryan Brailsford claims “Gutted has no intention of letting Knuckles go, but vows to curb his recent binge of bad behaviour”, in reference of course to the reported scandal of him being seen in compromising embraces with several women outside London nightclubs without his wife, supermodel Sauternes Nightly, who, as of yet, has decided not to comment on these accusations.

Fans are urged not to take many of the tabloid’s accusations concerning Knuckles at face value, as it has been publically revealed that at least two of the recent stories published have been unfounded and false, leading to the sacking and humiliation of various tabloid journalists.

For more information please contact the clubs’ Press Office at 02476 491986 or email press-enquiries@bedworthfc.co.uk (Office hours are between 9am-3pm Mon-Fri)

By Ryan Brailsford

[DISCLAIMER]: All content (including names and companies) mentioned in this are entirely fictional (even those based on real entities) and bear no significance, or reflect any of my views or the views of the lecturers involved in this task.

Warwickshire Youth Get A Voice In Police Matters

Members of the Warwickshire Youth Parliament have been invited to sit in on a Police meeting this Wednesday, in an attempt to give young people a better understanding of police work.
The youth representatives have been elected through UKYP (United Kingdom Youth Parliament) open days where, potential candidates between the ages of 11-18 from the local area are chosen as to represent their age group. Depending on the amount of young people in any given area, that area may have more or less representatives. Warwickshire currently has 6 Youth Parliament members, elected after participating in a UKYP open day.
Prior to the meeting, the Youth representatives will be interviewing the Police Authority Chair, Ian Francis and Deputy Chief Constable of Warwickshire Police, Andy Parker, who said that “Gaining the views of young people can only assist Warwickshire Police in further protecting communities.”

By Ryan Brailsford

Sources: www.ukyouthparliament.org.uk

Coventry’s Graduates Make It Happen

Coventry University is soon to be launching the new “Make It Happen” scheme to help graduates become business owners. The University is teaming up with FlyingStart to provide specialist advice and funding over the course of the first 12 months of a student starting up their own business.

This initiative has been concocted in an attempt to counteract unemployment amongst university graduates, which has been steadily rising in recent years. According to the Higher Education Statistics Agency, rates of graduates being unemployed have risen by a third this year and the situation is steadily growing worse.

Dragon’s Den Star Imran Hakin commented earlier in the year that: “I wish there were initiatives like The Flying Start – Make it Happen programme available when I first started off” An open day allowing students to register is scheduled to be held in Coventry University’s George Elliot Building between 1pm-4pm on December 2nd.

This is a major opportunity for you to explore the possibility and then get the support, guidance and funding” says Dr Marks Evans, Associate Dean of Coventry University, with high hopes that the scheme will prove to be a success, adding some much needed stability to the higher education system, which so many potential students have lost faith in.

By Ryan Brailsford

Sources: http://www.hesa.ac.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1197&Itemid=266

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Nl1/Newsroom/DG_180770

Body Found In Local River

A body was pulled from the River Swift after a road accident.
The driver has since been identified as John Smith. The incident occurred on November 18th. The car was plunged into the river after skidding 20 yards, supposedly due to the hazardous road conditions following the day’s thunder storm.

By Ryan Brailsford

Mystery Collision Kills Local Woman

Police are appealing for witnesses after a woman was found dead on the B4116.
The 28 year old from Atherstone was pronounced dead at the scene after a mysterious crash, that caused her to be thrown from her blue Ford Fiesta saloon, as she was driving from Coleshill towards Atherstone.
It is unknown what caused her to lose control of her vehicle and anyone who may have witnessed the event, or the car described prior to the crash is encouraged to contact the police as soon as possible.
If you have information you are urged to contact Rugby police on 01926 415441 and asking for Police Constable 784 Simon Marchetti.

By Ryan Brailsford